hey everybody! This is Peter... hi... anyhoo... tonite was fun... we did stuff... like.... Running out in front of alex's house and rolling in the snow in our bathing suits alone... then ran and got in the hot tub... then we got out of the hot tub and ran to akex's backyard and rolled around some more... then back to the hot tub... good times...

alright, the title may be a little excessive, but whatever, I like overexxagerrations.... wait... no I don't.... whatever... anyhoo... BACK TO ME!!! I haven't written anything up in a few days... "what have you been doing Peter?" - you may ask... (I'm not saying you should, just saying it is something that you might be asking)... what have I been doing?

Yesterday was purely delightful... I helped my Aunt and Uncle move from one apartment to another in the same complex... which was pretty good, except for the fact that levi and I were the two guys in the best shape there, which apparently means we get to carry all the heavy stuff... man they have some big stuff.... like the armour(arm-whar)... and the entertainment center (for the tv...)... and of course... a big couch, which isn't that bad except for the fact that it had uber slippery material, which made it slip around a lot... plus we had to carry it up sixteen steps, down a hallway, and then tried to get it into the apartment.... but it is in a weird corner place... so then we got to take it back to the u-haul... but on the bright side, I got a coke out of it... yum... plus it tasted uber good, after 3 hours of hard work... 2 and a half hours... maybe more like 2 hours of actual work, but it was HARD!... then I got dropped off at home from my bro, and then helped my mom around the house a little... you know... vacuumed the downstairs and stuff... but I listened to JT during vacuuming... so that was good... I was so exhausted, plus I didn't really get very much sleep the night before.... oh well...
After that I went to help my mom work on stuff for my dad's 50th birthday... which was fine, but then she asked me to do something really challenging for me... draw a map of the U.S. (freehand) on a drop cloth(paper) that was 9 FEET by 12 FEET!!! can you imagine? that is HUGE! one and a half of me, by two of me... approximately that is... I'm about 6'2'... so I started drawing the border, got that done acceptably well, then I started drawing in the states (did I mention she wanted the states in? (remember I am completely exhausted))... so I started doing those... but then I realized I messed up horribly... I messed up the proportions of states and ended up having to drop four states in order to make them fit.... ugh... My sister helped me for a little while, but I ended up giving up... man I was tired... and this was nuts... at least for one night's work... I could probably do it if I had some time to work it all out.... as I said before... I quit... My mom said we didn't have to use it anyways, and began to think that maybe it wasn't that good of an idea anyway... I thought it might be cool, but in my mindset at the time, I was completely accepting of the not using it theme... My mom is amazing... she has a work ethic like none other that I have ever met... she put on a big party for my dad's 50th birthday.... look down to read about it...

Alright, back to life...Well today I went to church, which was good, except for the fact that I could not, for the life of me, pay attention to Pastor Tom.... sad... but then Ryan and I went to safeway for chinese... which is great... then we went to wendy's and ate with our peeps... after that, he dropped me off at home, and I helped my mom do the final touches for my dad's party... including cutting cheese, sweeping(swiffering!), and taking out the trash... then... people started to come over... my mom hugified(made bigger) a bunch of pictures of my dad and put them all over the house... added random facts about him around... then she made a quiz for everyone to take... she also made shirts for everyone that say "my friend dave is 50" and have a picture of him on it... then she made special ones for her, my dad, me, levi, sarah, and grandma schatzer.... good times.... that is definitely a keeper... we had bunches of food and stuff... then we all got together and started telling stories... apparently Ralph Lyon dated Ellen(my aunt), My mom, and Lucretia(my other mom... alex's mom to be exact)... that is kinda freaky to think about... like... maybe I dated ryan's future wife... or maybe he dated mine, or how about this??? ryan dated alex's future wife... now that is just TOO crazy!!!... alright, well I won't jump to conclusions(office space)...

Well both nights ended up similarly... I ended up going over to Ryan's and watching a british tv show called Coupling... this show is COMPLETELY about friends, and sex... they really emphasize the second.... but it's not a dirty show... it puts humor on the subject, and actually is quite smart(witty)... they overemphasize a lot... which I think is AWESOME, at least in regards to this show... scrubs too... but back to the show... Ryan and I have watched all but one episode... which we will fit in sometime, but we have been getting back to our abodes around 2-3 a.m. whcih is kinda late... but whatever... it is break...

And I leave the best for last. Saturday night I went out for ice cream with Jessica... Jess and I have become really good friends over in Pullman, and it was nice to see her during the break... She is great... a love for the lord, a love for people, and a love for her family... we talked about our lives, and how things are going and stuff... It was very delightful to hang out with her... after leaving the ice cream parlor, or 'creamery'... we got back to my car and she gave me my christmas present(part one at least), which was a book called 'wild at heart'... this book is amazing... It is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten, then she told me she wanted to buy me a hat, but didn't know which size... so we went to southcenter mall, and into lids... we started looking around, and there it was... the hat I wanted to get... I reached for it, when out of nowhere JP, Michael, and toughguy show up, they were hat shopping too... weird huh?... people buy hats... what?... just kidding, but seriously they just kinda showed up out of nowhere... so back to the hat... this hat is very special to me... not only because it was a gift(part 2... of 2)... but because it was a New York yankees hat!... alright alright... so everyone in the pacific northwest hates the yankees... I like them, they are the best baseball team money can buy... but shouldn't they be? They're from New York!!!!! alright, I have a slight obsession with New York... I have never been there... I REALLY want to go though... Ryan and I are supposed to stop there for a few days on our way to Paris, not this summer, but next summer(2005), New York is seriously a dream to me... it is just so big... so much stuff happens there... Maid in Manhattan for example... TRL for another... SO MUCH STUFF!!! I really just want to go, and spend lots and lots of money... but getting money might be helpful first... and then... not only is is a gift, a NEW YORK hat, but it is also(I believe)... the first hat I have ever owned(since I've become aware of what I'm wearing... not like little kids... they just throw on clothes... but you know...)... this is seriously the first hat that I have not gotten from a baseball team uniform(one that I've played for)... so it is kinda special... thanks Jess...

That was the last two days... in a nutshell of course... I just realized that that is quite a nutshell... just remember the gigaloop whenever something horrible happens, like prayer in church?... that is just a little thing for ryan from coupling...

CONFIDENCE!!! I'm starting to get some... wohoo!... the single life is kinda nice... but relationships are wonderful too... maybe I can be happy and confident in both... I'll just have to wait until my next girlfriend to find out about the relationship one, but for now... the single life is cool.

your friend, Peter

p.s. don't be afraid to write me about stuff... I'm up for almost anything... from fun stuff to serious stuff to prayer requests... I'm kinda all over the charts... whoa!

I realized tonite that no matter how hard I try, sometimes I can't get even the best of thinkers to see something from my viewpoint. Everyone is blocked by feelings, and if hose feelings are strong enough, then that person is blind. Which sucks, because then they can't understand where you are coming from. we all go through crap.

If you aren't willing to stop for a second and think about another view, then you are selfish. I try not to be selfish, but when all those feelings jump in... it is hard... give me another chance to understand your viewpoint, I will try.

Another realization. this I figured out a while ago... sometimes the thing someone needs is SPACE... no matter how involved you are with this person, if they ask for space and need it, you have to be able to give them that space, NO MATTER how hard it is to sit on the sidelines, you HAVE to. only if they truly need it. and people need it kinda often.

How about trust and insecurity? I myself find myself becoming very insecure about things very quickly... especially friendships... but Ryan and I had a deep discussion about it, and well I decided to try not to be insecure, why should I be? friends are friends... I need to trust that if we don't talk for a while that everything is ok, I need to be able to trust them enough to give them space, if they need it, I need to trust them to make good decisions, I need to trust them to be the friend that they are.

I think I'm done for tonite. Goodnight everyone.

Peter

alright, here it is... I have a HUGE confidence problem... If something goes wrong... what do I do? I lash out and make it worse... but I am learning to live with things that happen and to be strong with decisions I have made... lets take this one for starters...

ok... confidence in yourself through 'life'
What the heck are you talking about Peter? Here's the lowdown(that was fun to say(type))(<- math coming into writing).... seriously here it is...me not feeling confident... I stated earlier about being around my best friends... here is why I said that... I, being the wussy I am, often find myself doubting how great of a guy I am because I hang out with some pretty darn good guys... here they are, and my views on them... I love them both VERY much, because while both being my best friends... they are completely different.

Alex... alright, Alex has been my best friend since 10th-11th grade... and alex... he is a very humble man, a great sense of humor, and just very loving all around, Alex also has been known to be the 'king' of ultimate frisbee, and was also known for having the 'hottest back' in the youth group... alex although a very odd looking guy, has a very strange appeal to him that girls absolutely love... Alex is also an oddly shy, but not at the same time sort of guy...

Ryan... alright, Ryan has been my best friend since the summer before senior year... Ryan is best known for his good looks. man... almost everyone belives he is just gorgeous. Ryan also is a VERY bright guy, he can write an essay like no other, he was two years ahead in Math, and well just an all around genius... Ryan also has a great sense of humor. one that would make anyone laugh... Ryan is very outgoing and just seems to be loved by everyone, which he is, of course.

Ok then there is me... I'm not exactly a genius when it comes to school, nor am I THAT good looking of a guy... I guess I just feel insecure around them because the true qualities that I love about them, I don't have fully. like good looks, and smarts(joke, I'm almost not having to write this in!)... but seriously, Alex and Ryan both are extremely attractive guys... then there is me, the guy who has had an acne problem that hasn't left even to this day... that gets me down some days... but what can I do? I've tried everything... so.. I'm going to take it as life... and LIVE with it... it will go away someday, and while it is here, I'll be ok with it as much as I can... I look up to Alex and Ryan so much... they are the BEST friends I could ask for... and for that I am grateful... thanks guys for being there for me. and I am here for you. Always. A lot of things I am trying to better in my life get inspiration from Alex and Ryan. why shouldn't I be confident around them? I'm a good guy... I have good qualities... of course I also have bad ones, but I'm trying to better them... plus.. everyone has problems...

confidence... I am a good guy... I am a Christian... I am a thinker... I'm open to changes... I need to be confident in who I am and who I am becoming, and most of all... Be confident in God, who, through all things will be there for me, even when no one else is... God is making me a Man... I should be confident in the work he is doing.

alright, so I went a little overboard on the exclamation(sp?) points... anyhoo... goodtimes are these... I love everyone in my life, and I hope to show them that... I don't always show it in the best ways... but I am sorry. I do love everyone in my life. EVERONE!! yeah, I went there... name one person in my life I don't!! Love is a very powerful word... and I hope to put that word into actions through my life... If I'm not.... let me know... thank you... goodnight everyone and Merry Christmas...

man, maturity, what are you doing to me? well I am starting to grow up and see the world in a new light... what is that light? Work... maybe an ugly light, but a light nonetheless... I got a cumulative GPA of 3.03 for my first semester of college, which shows me one thing... Jeez Peter, you better get off you lazy butt... I didn't work hard at all for those grades... maybe I should have... well that is over now, and the only thing I can do is work on next semester... some of you might be thinking... hey! I got a 3.03 and I think I did real well this semester(quarter)... you probably did, but how much effort did you put into it? I didn't put very much into it which is why I want to change, if you happened to put in a lot of effort, way to go! keep up the good work! a 3.03 is pretty darn good... it is a quite good overall grade, but whatever, I noticed in my life that I needed to make a change... so, that is it... I guess college forms the rest of my life, might as well do well!... I guess I am finally realizing what everyone tells me... "Peter, you have so much potential! why not take advantage of it!"... I guess I need to, in some way at least... Proffessional Baseball Player, Actuary, anything else I friggin want to be... Why can't I choose? I have so many options, but I still only go for one partly... man no wonder people get pissed with me... I don't have to know what I want exactly now, but I should be working towards one of them... right?... what should I do with my life? write me an e-mail... let me know what you think... pretty much everything is open... I'm leaning towards Actuary... and I think that is where my heart lies... but give me some ideas and I'll consider them... ok well this is a huge thing...

wow... ok back to the reason I got on... to inform all of you about how I, Peter Josiah Schatzer, am doing... I am actually just getting bored(which I HATE more than anything else... BOREDOM SUCKS!!!)... today... I did absolutely nothing until 6 pm... when I went to jocelyn's birthday party(My brother Levi's wife)... it was good times, we played balderdash and ate a wonderful 'family' meal... that was the fun part of my night... then I went home... I mean... I went back to bored... the only non-boring part of being home is when I'm talking to my family... mostly my sister... I usually don't see much of her, but she is an awesome person... and, well truly she is a lot of fun to be around... I am so bored... ugh... maybe I should read again... that might help... many things to do tomorrow... and the next day... alright, well goodnight everyone... and merry christmas once again... darn boredom...

I said it in the title... hope the day goes well for everyone... I'm still here...

I am home now... well 'home' is now in pullman... but I am back at my parents house... I hung out with Alex and Ryan tonite(yes, we are still friends)... and well tomorrow should be a good shopping day, but well see... alright... goodnight everyone...

Alright, so I woke up at 2:30 today... man, I like sleep... then I went and ate... good times... came back and played x-box... went and ate dinner... good times... then I did some fun stuff... (not that that other stuff isn't fun... just less fun)... I went to this 'christmas party' at gannons/goldsworthy dorm(the nerd dorm)... they had some stuff to do, like decorate ornaments, make christmas cards, karaoke, ddr, and more... What did I choose to do? SWING DANCE LESSONS!!!! man that was fun... I learned east coast swing... well the basic step and 4 other moves... it is very fun... and it is one thing that I have always wished I could do, one thing that I couldn't do, because I never learned, but I did, and I'm also signed up for the dance class... beginner of course... but I'm signed up... It is something I wanted to do in life... and I'm doing it! wohoo!... now I am sitting in my room in a crappy mood, trying to get over my life as of recent, and I think I will because I have done a lot of good to make myself better, improve upon me... although the physical part of that is lacking... I haven't worked out in so long... I'm going to the gym tomorrow and working out hardcore though... I've decided... other than that... things are going wrong in a lot of aspects of my life... but God's got a plan and I'm gonna trust him on that... all I have to do is make sure I'm being good... goodnight yall... have a wonderful night and morning... and sunday... whatever...

alright, well today I have mixed feelings of... sort of... alright, well I'm really trying to have a loving mindset, and it is working... Love... how powerful... alright, so I had class... finished that for the semester(other than finals), but that is not why I am writing... I had some good conversations today(although I should of had at least one more)... I talked with jessica tonite about life and just general stuff... which was nice... she is a great person... then I got back, and my bestfriend ryan was online... (here's the hard part)... I have been having problems with ryan as of late... so tonite, I finally wrote him a HUGE e-mail about stuff... hopefully he will be receptive to my words and will be kind... but the truth will set you free... if free is me and him not being friends, then let us be free... at least I have known him this long, and for that I am grateful... hopefully there will be more friendship after all this... Man that was hard to do... writing the truth is very hard... because you start to think fo how the other person would take it and sugarcoat stuff, but we all need to be honest... I believe I was... but I can ony hope now( I already sent it)... on to another topic... I saw Stuck On You today... which was awesome! man that movie was hilarious! I definitely want to see it again... man... so many funny parts... see it... it is one big joke... and hopefully you'll get it... otherwise it will be REALLY lame... goodnight everyone and hopefully I'll hear from all of you sometime, no matter whether or not I currently know you.

ok, well I'm living.. yay!

now that that is clear... how are you all? I'm doing aight, except I'm failing horribly on the pop thing... I've cut down, but in no way have QUIT... oh well, at least it is getting better... on the other hand I started a 400 page hardback book called Utopia... it's kinda cool, it's a theme park that is perfect... kinda cool, but of course something goes wrong and everyone dies... but I'm not in that far yet... also... this book has one of my favorite quotes ever... it's actually a conversation between a man and his 14 year old daughter... here it is...
"'Can't you settle on a style you like?(music style)'(says the father)(he says this because she is listening to a new style every week)
Georgia shrugged(the daughter). 'I'm too intelligent for that.'"
I like this quote a lot because I often find people who listen to only one style of music quite... what's the word... shallow minded I guess would work... like someone who knows only one subject... he can only operate on that level... rather than the person who is into many subjects, and has insight on many things... kinda like how we know nothing about African culture unless we've been there... like, you don't truly know something until you've fully experienced it... I listen to a wide variety of music, and I like it a lot, because each style affects(effects?) you in different ways...

Give it a try... you may not like something at first, but get to know it... don't judge a book by it's cover...talking about books... I bought Utopia for 3.50!!! crazy!!!

Alright so I woke up today at 10:01... what the heck? Peter up before noon? yeah, sorry I had a test... I got up and ran to my test which started at 10:10... I'm just glad I was able to grab clothes and still get there on time... Go Peter!... not only that... I took the test and returned to my room in under a half an hour... crazy! 10-1030 I woke up took an econ test and got back... man I am just too good!... I believe I did really well on it, eventhough it was on scantron, when I was bubbling in my name I bubbled R for the beginning of my last name... which is the friggin firts bubble to bubble in... darn tiredness... well whatever... so I am pretty darn sure I got an A in that class eventhough I only went to class up until the first test...after that I just went to the tests(on which I got a 4, 4 and 3.7 on)! man I love that class...except the morning thing...
Then I went to english and learned how semicolons and colons are used (isn't that junior high stuff?) whatever... I liked it because I always thought the colon was the uber period... you know... like when you are making a statement and you REALLY want it to have some power you end with a colon... whatever...
Then I went to history, which happens to be my second favorite class... second only to calculus 3... we learned about America: The Superpower... Awesome... History really makes me chuckle... All the mistakes people make... man some people are dumb... but whatever, it's just millions of people right? I'm totally kidding, and all the girls reading this are crying and are sending me hate e-mails now... History makes me chuckle because everyone makes the same mistakes over and over and it is just kind of humorous... plus our teacher makes it really funny... he's a real great prof.
After that I went back to my room and talked with Jessica about stuff happening, which I thought was nice... we talked for about an hour and a half, listening to Maroon 5 in the background... I love these guys... last 3-4 days almost straight... Then Jess and I went to eat dinner with the normal crew of Laura, Katherine, Jess, Me, Lucas, and of course the awesome TomFinn... Man that guy cracks me up and apparently us together makes everyone laugh... good times... Then I left that table to throw away my stuff, when I saw another group of people I like to be with... Erik, Katy, Whitney, and Steph... all awesome people... so I sat down with them for just a minute... of course that during that minute all the other group walked by and gave me bad glares... and were like "I thought you were leaving, jerk!"... so I gave laura a 'clevage shot' and she was satisfied...they weren't really mad anyways...
Then I rushed off and changed into a polo shirt and my new corderouy(sp?...whatever) jacket... and rushed to meet Kayla to go on a hourse drawn carriage ride... plus it was snowing... HOW COOL RIGHT???.... we got to the party place and the horses weren't there because it was too icey... darn snow... whatever, it is beautiful anyways... So then we went back to Wilmer-Davis(all girls hall, except me of course...) so I chilled for a while then we went to the W-D christmas party....
This needs it's own paragraph... we went downstairs... I walked into this room with an obscene amount of women(all the girls that live in W-D)... I'd say probably around 75-100 women... and then there was me... wow... I've never felt such oppression... I walked in and immediately people were staring at me and pointing and were just amazed that a GUY was there... I almost felt like people were wispering to others "what is a bastard guy doing here? They are nothing but trouble...)... sort of a 'curse you for you have a penis' thing... whatever... I actually knew like 15-20 women there, which was cool, but I was introduced to many more... wow... so many women, it was almost overwhelming, but for the fact that I'm not in europe I can't use whelming... so overwhelming fits... it was overwhelming... wow... so I talked to a bunch of girls, hgm hgm...women... waved at a few that I didn't know, but that were staring at me... fun times... six foot two red head in a room full of girls... I stood out just a little bit... then... another guy or as some put it... 'evil penis'... walked in... but he was just chillin' by his girlfriend... so I didn't need to show him what was up...
Some guys aren't that bad are they? true most guys aren't the best of people, but that is why the good ones are hard to find... Girls... don't give up and just go with one because he is 'good enough', don't compromise your morals... stand for them... guys stand for yours too... be receptive to new people also though... it's a weird balance of relationships... do what your heart feels... heck even the bible says "the truth will set you free"- john 8-32b... but free does not mean everything between you two will be peachy... free is free...
Now I am just chillin, listening to Maroon 5 and writing this...so goodnight everyone... and if you want... write me an e-mail... I'd like that... always nice to hear from friends...whether or not I have met you... german

ALRIGHT... NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT IN MY LIFE!!!! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!




just kidding, I bet I scared a few of you... anyways... everything is actually going well, homework has gone down to a dull roar... finals are coming up... I'm not THAT concerned about them... of course I care, but I'm not exactly FOCUSING on them...
I had a nice conversation with a good friend of mine tonite... which was good, we were both being very honest with each other and I believe that that is what we needed (in my mind at least)...
So during that conversation I realized I had a few bad habits... I bite my nails, drink obscene amounts of pop(soda to those who say soda eventhough it is retarded(again, personal opinion)), eat bunches of candy and am super lazy...
I'm QUITTING them all... I'm going to try(being the key word there) to kick all those habits at once... so if you catch me doing one of these, please encourage me to stop... thanks...
oh... another one... I'm going to try and read books now... what? Peter Schatzer read?... I know... hard to believe... but it is true...

alright, well that is it for tonite... goodnight everyone and please help me... I'll try not to be snappy, but I might be, because afterall I'm probably going to go through MAJOR withdrawls when changing things that seem so normal to me...

Alright... hey everybody...
So I believe I learned a good lesson today... one I needed to learn... So after I broke up with Val, I had a large hole in my life... which gave me time to do other things like read my bible and watch more movies and such... It also put a hole in my heart... one that I tried to fill by almost throwing myself into other people's lives... This can turn out badly and make some people afraid of me... I don't want anyone to be afraid of me, but I can understand if they are... I am HUGELY buff and quite outgoing, I also enjoy putting some people in an awkward, but comfortable place... anyways, I apologize to everyone that was involved in that, I had no right to throw myself into your life... But not all bad has come from this... I now have a new 'core' group of friends... actually two or three...

I am now trying to be more of 'myself'... whatever that means, I'm gonna do it... actually I think I'm just going to act how I want to, people seem to enjoy me and being around me and everything...

The thing that annoys me about being 'myself' is that people really get used to the fun-loving awesomely active and crazy peter and don't really get to know the true me... the thinker, the lover and such... I'm trying to find the gray area of that...

goodnight everyone

I don't think so. Here is a link to a picture of Peter Schatzer, and what he does... he's actually a very important guy...
http://www.population2005.org/board.htm

I wrote him an e-mail... hopefully he'll write back to his fellow Peter Schatzer.

goodnight everyone...just thought that was cool.

best of luck to everyone taking finals... do well, study hard, pray, do what you do in order to do well...

I can't get this to work right...whatever...I'm going to put in new contacts...very exciting for my eyes

Live your life the way you want to. hopefully that includes God.

I try to live for God, and everyday is a struggle in itself. All I can ask is that God gives me the strength to trust in him.

Hey! here are two pictures of myself that I think are quite 'hot' or attractive if you will...



so those are those... which one do you think is hotter?(more hott, with two t's!)
anyways, back to why I got on... (btw I just started disc two of the Lord of the Rings exended version of the two towers...)... alright... why I got on... I got on to say that I miss telling people about my whole life... I like to think that me being 'independent'(not depending on other people's input to make decisions I have to make) is making me more of a 'man' but I feel that it is ok to depend on people emotionally as long as you can trust them... that is the hard part... trust... I have people I can trust and I hope that people can trust in me(may be hard to because I am such a goofball, but please give me a chance and hear me out)... I want others to trust, and even depend on me... right now... as I see it... no one needs me in their life... they may like having me in their life, but no one depends on what I have to say, no one depends on my thoughts on a subject... maybe I'm being a whiny little punk... 'no one loves me'... but I'm not saying that... people love me, people enjoy my company, people are my friends... I am almost completely dependent on ryan and his thoughts... on some other topics... I am dependent on alex's thoughts... and still on others I am dependent on my parents... I am not able to make decisions for myself, and it is very hard to... that is part of becoming a man though... being able to think for yourself... and I'm writing this, not looking for sympathy, or looking for any reaction in any way, but writing because it is my personal journal, and this is how I feel... goodnight to you all, and please remember that people are there for you... and hopefully you will be there for them... I want to be there for you (if you are reading this, then I want to be there for you) all you have to do is ask... goodnight everyone...

alright... so I think that this is fun... not really, I'm just kind of being weird... not being the 'usual' peter... Over the last few days I haven't been really told anyone very much about how I'm feeling... most everyone never tells me how they truly feel so I just am giving everyone a taste of that... It is fun not knowing what is going on in your friends life right?... yeah... it sure is...

I guess I just got tired of always having to hold up the 'real' or 'true' conversations... I'd ask them a serious question... they'd answer and say nothing else... what is the deal with that?... I KNOW you are thinking... everyone I know is very smart and capable of at least holding a conversation... but maybe not the latter... I haven't seen a good example of that lately... well goodday to you all and I hope everyone is having great days with awesome conversations... without me...

P.S. don't just write me to start a 'real' conversation... unless you really want to get into one... is that it? People don't like talking about real things... well I do... but I think I'll be bitter for a little while longer... goodday...

alright so the last few days have just kind of passed by... lots of homework for me that I always start around midnight... a few problems with that though... as I found out with the linear algebra computer assignment... I remotely connected to a math program in the mathlab(worked from my personal computer rather than going into the lab)... I went through the three part assignment and went to copy-paste onto word to further work on the great things I had just done... I then realized that once I typed in a certain amount of entries... the program automatically deletes from the top... I found out that 2/3 of my project went out the window... so what did I do?(remember, I started at 12:15 a.m.) I closed the stupid thing and walked around talking to people and then ate a few things... I then came back and redid everything... ugh... that was pleasant... I have just been doing a lot of studying for quizes this week and homework, so it seems stressful eventhough the workload could be WAY worse... The workload also could be a lot easier if I just did it rather that procrastinated... oh well, It gets done right? that's what I thought... hehehe... alright... time for bed... except it has crap all over it (not poop, but clothes and hangers and such)... just wanted to make sure everyone understood that... anyways... goodnight to you all and have a lovely day today...

P.S. does P.S. stand for post script?... whatever
P.P.S. I have been in a weird mood all week, so I apologize for any awkward comments I may make (like the poop one earlier)
P.P.P.S. hi

alright, so I am on fire for God, which has given me the ability to learn amazing things everyday... what do I learn? better ways to serve my lord, ways of thought I should have, and many o' many more things... god is blessing me with a mindset of allowing wisdom to be given unto me, which I love, but it is very hard to 'learn' everything when you learn that fast... to put everything into action that I have learned would be killer, right now is a time for me to learn and begin to act, but the action will come later when I don't learn as much everyday... God is always giving signals of his wisdom and of his love, we need to have a mindset to accept what he is lavishing on us... acceptance comes on many different levels but we need to not block off his wisdom... goodnight everyone... it is almost 3:30! wohoo!

Alright so I have decided to put my bible study on my blog so that you may further understand what I am going through... but do not allow this to take the place of your personal bible study... "well I read peter's bible study today... doesn't that count for anything?" yes it counts that you read my blog, but get out there and do some spiritual digging for yourself...

Jonah chapter 2

Jonah in this chapter realized he was an idiot... and prayed to God to help him through it... I like how people do this... wait until the last minute to admit that they need help... it is ok to be weak, everyone is, only 'the strong' are able to recognize they are weak and ask for help... If we just asked for help in the beginning everything would be easier... but I believe God created us to be proud, to try and do things on our own, for only when we do that do we recognize we cannot do anything without him...

Alright, so one thing that I am learning right now is to respect others... not everyone has to be on a spiritual high right now... Some need to be resting... taking refuge in God... respect comes into it, because I have found myself trying to force 'spirituality' (is that a word? I don't know) on others... I need to respect other people and only try and help them if they want my help or if they NEED my help, but I have to remember that it is a NEED and not just me thinking they need it... tough to decifer(sp?) one from another... prayer is key for any situation... that is what I wanted to say... all people want R-E-S-P-E-C-T...goodnight

(Thanks to everyone who has helped me through this, and forgive me that I didn't learn this earlier) As a good friend said... "you don't fall in love with the sun, without a little rain"... meaning everyone goes through tough times... it is the job of a friend to offer advice and help to help you get through it...
alright, I have been in need of this and my life has shown me that that is true.(did that make any sense) how about this? My life has shown me that I need to have a daily bible study. much better... ok I think god has been giving me signs toward this a lot, but I'm so blind and deaf that it takes a big sign to show me... maybe I should work on that!
so Jonah...
Jonah was called by God to go somewhere, but ran somewhere else, and got on a ship... genius... not only did he run away, but he went onto something that is completely controlled by God... ok back to the story... Big winds came...like a HUGE storm... everyone was freakin' out like... "(screaming) wha? aaah! God help us!" but they all were calling to their God's and not God god... so then they noticed that Jonah was inside the boat sleeping... so they said "what the hell dude? HUGE storm... and you sleep? what the dillio yo?" Jonah said that he was running away from The God of heaven, creater of everything... and they figured it out... Jonah then told them to throw him overboard so that the storm will stop... So what do they do? they try and paddle back into shore... heh, dorks... of course it didn't work and they ended up throwing him overboard after pre-forgiving for doing this... They threw him overboard and the storm immediately stopped and the water was calm... They all made vows to God and greatly feared him... Jonah however was swallowed by a HUGE fish... And he stayed in there for three days.... That was just chapter one! I wonder what happens in chapter two? I guess I could read it... but I think that is a lesson for tomorrow!
What I got out of this chapter? so much... alright, well first of all I know that God had me read this today because of recent things I have been going through... I haven't been doing my bible study and I haven't been in the best of moods... God is teaching me to trust in him... He is a POWERFUL God and is not scared to use it... "Don't run away and try to do things on your own, especially when I have called you to go and do good work" I think this is ultimately what God is trying to teach me right now...

don't run away from him or else I will be swallowed by a HUGE fish!

goodnight.
Peter

P.S. that ending part was a joke... stay with God and don't run away because he knows you so much better than you know yourself! for example... How many freckles do I have? no clue... but he knows! crazy... goodnight.